I'm sorry
by Hellsleprechaun
Summary: After the ball, Klaus considers everything Caroline said, and begins to see how he managed to mess everything up with his siblings, but is it too late to say he's sorry?


**Decided to write this after 3x14, I noticed how Klaus seemed to consider all of the things Caroline said about why he can't have normal relationships with anybody. Although this situation is unlikely to happen, I would like to see the originals make up.**

**I do not own the vampire diaries, it belongs to L.J smith and the CW.**

Klaus sat by the fire place in his newly renovated mansion, where he was now residing with his family- thinking.

He spent a lot of his time thinking, thinking about where to find more werewolves to turn into hybrids, thinking about how to outrun Mikael in the past, thinking about paintings he had seen or music he had listened to, even.

But he rarely thought about himself, as in he did not contemplate himself, his personality, his relationships. He preferred not to, too many emotions, too much pain. Thinking about his personality lead to thinking of his past personality, about the person he used to be before he became the monster. And thinking about his relationships only caused him to remember all he had lost. Therefore he decided that it was best not to allow himself to think too much about either, and he had been doing a fine job of that, until tonight.

Until Caroline… He had tried to charm her, he had tried to impress her, he had actually opened up to her, although she may not have noticed, only one who knew him would appreciate just how much he had opened himself up when talking about his horse, and his father.

She had told him that he only compelled and sired people because Mikael did not love him, and he did not trust anybody else to either.

Was it true?

His first instinct was to say no, no it was not true, whether Mikael loved him or not, that was nothing to do with who he was. But there was a smaller, but very insistent part of him that told him of course it was true. Why else had he told Caroline to leave, he did not want to hear the truth. If she had been wrong, then he could have laughed her comments off, as it was…

As it was he was sitting in front of his fire contemplating his existence.

He sighed in slight frustration, Caroline was right. He had not had a healthy bond with anybody since… about a thousand or so years ago, after killing his mother.

Mikael had rejected him, that had hurt, but not nearly as much as when Esther turned her back on him. Mikael had never liked him whether he had loved him or not. He knew he was a proud man, him choosing his pride over Niklaus was no surprise to the man, but his mother… Esther had always told him that she loved him, she had told them all that they were the most important things in her life, that if she did not have them then she did not know what she would do.

He had believed her, her adoration was hard not to return. So when she had abandoned him it was a nasty surprise to say the least. He recalled his agony, his fury, but above all his sense of betrayal. She was his mother, the woman had carried him for nine months and given birth to him, she should have loved him no matter what.

The fact that she did not had driven him to an almost insane rage, a rage that had led to her death.

He knew that he had never been the same again.

He was bitter, guilty and cautious, some would call it paranoid.

Finn and Kol had disappeared shortly after Esther's death, they had had no trouble in leaving him behind and he had difficulty believing that Elijah and Rebekah would not do the same.

He always expected it, they would realise that he was freak, an abomination and leave together, leaving him all alone in the world, with nothing and nobody.

He laughed humourlessly as he considered the irony. He had murdered his siblings to prevent his worst fear from coming true, and in doing so had ensured that they did.

He though upon the second part of what Caroline had informed him off in his gallery, that he did not understand people because he didn't even try.

This time he had less trouble accepting the truth of her words, _she might be young but she's smart_, he recognised.

Earlier that day he had complained to his mother that Rebekah was trying to ruin his life, and that none of the others were doing as she instructed and acting as a family. She had chastised him, reminding him that he had put daggers in their hearts and that he couldn't expect them to be grateful towards him, he had not heeded her words then, but he did now.

He thought of how Esther's betrayal had effected him, the anger, the hate and the pain.

That was how they felt towards him.

"Ugh!" He groaned, he did not want to do this, he would not. What did it matter to him if he hurt his brother's and sisters precious feelings?

He resolved to block such thoughts from his mind, then Caroline's face floated to the forefront of it, rather than enjoying this he was frustrated by it because he could not forget what she had said.

_Damn! _

He thought of Finn, his usually calm, quite brother, locked in a coffin for 900 years. He had taken most of Finn's life from him, he felt a wave of shame hit him at full force as he remembered his words to Caroline about all the things she would miss out on if she died now, the art, the music the cities and the birthdays.

Finn had missed so many of these spectacular things and more, because of him.

Then there was Kol, going about his life, not bothering his older brother, only to be killed due to said brother's paranoia, he blinked furiously as his eyes began to sting, because of the dust in the house of course, as he considered that _he _had wronged Kol, not the other way around.

Kol was his little brother, he might have been vicious, mean and a thousand years old, but he was still his brother, he should have been protecting him, he should have killed anyone who tried to harm him, rather than being the one to harm him.

Then there was Rebekah, his sister, one of the only people who could convince him to change his mind once it was made up. They had been friends as children, partners in crime. She had hated whenever Mikael was harsh towards him, and she was almost always on his side. She had told him that she would never abandon him, that they would be together always and forever.

But she had not kept her word, he defended himself, she was going to leave him for Stefan, a man she had known for a few months. He did what he had to do.

He scoffed at himself, a few hours ago he was convinced by his previous statement, now however he realised how ridiculous he sounded, how deep in denial he had been. Rebekah had always loved him, she had wanted he, her and Stefan to stay together, she had only decided to leave him when pushed, pushed by him.

Last, and possibly the most painful to face, Elijah.

He and Elijah had always been close despite their differences, he was impulsive and foolish with a hot temper, Elijah was calm and sensible, it took a great deal to anger him, and even then he rarely did anything he'd regret later.

They had fought over Tatia, they both loved her, both wanted her, but even under their rivalry, they had loved one another, they were still brothers.

Elijah had promised to never abandon him, he had kept his promise. He had stayed by Klaus' side, even when he disapproved of his actions he had supported them out of love.

_A love I don't deserve._

They had fallen out over Katerina, Elijah had loved her and wanted to save her. He had ordered him to let her die, cruelly on reflection, he had wanted to kill the doppelganger only to show his brother that love was a vampire's greatest weakness.

He almost laughed at that now.

He and Elijah's relationship had broken down after Katerina escaped, he had blamed his older brother, and Elijah had resented him for his poor treatment of him.

Until tonight he had considered Elijah the traitor, for trying to kill him, but it was the other way around. He had betrayed Elijah by taking his family away from him, one by one, and by then killing him to reunite him with them.

If Elijah never forgave him, he would not reasonably be able to blame him, he was almost certain that if the situation were reversed that he could never forgive Elijah.

He began to laugh to himself, it was horrible sound, high pitched and bordering on hysterical, he was a thousand years old, he had completely screwed up his life and never understood why, and in a few words, a baby vampire had summed up him, and his whole view on relationships, and indirectly highlighted the reason that his life was a mess.

He had an idea suddenly, Caroline would not appreciate an expensive stolen gift, she did not want to be "bought", but he had to do something to let her know that she had done something that he was thankful for.

It took him only a few minutes to reach Caroline's house once his drawing was done and wrapped in the box, after all it was a small town and he had super speed.

He did not wait around outside her window to watch her reaction, he was a lot of things, but he liked to think that he was not a peeping Tom of some kind.

When Kol returned home, he found Klaus sitting in the same seat by the fireplace he had been seated in while thinking over his family.

"Moping are we ,Niklaus?" Kol taunted, with his favourite smirk painted across his face.

"Not anymore, Kol, no." He replied thoughtfully.

His brother looked at him oddly for a few seconds before going to turn around again, Klaus spoke up before he could.

"Are you alright?" He glanced up to meet Kol's gaze.

Kol was staring at him very suspiciously, as though searching for the catch to what he said, waiting for a barb. "Why?" He asked finally, after a moment of internal deliberation.

"Well, you were thrown off a balcony and that bastard did snap your neck." Klaus reminded him casually, although Kol noted with no small amount of surprise that Niklaus seemed to be holding a grudge against Damon for that.

Kol was not sure what to make of this situation, Nik was behaving almost like a normal person, there was definitely something not right.

"Are you playing nice because you're feeling lonely, Niklaus. It'll take more than some half-assed concern to bring me over to your side." He snapped nastily.

Klaus drew in a deep breath, his first instinct was to go on the defensive and throw back a retort at Kol, telling him that he was not concerned and make fun of Kol for getting the crap beaten out of him by a vampire under a fifth of his age. But he pulled himself together.

" I know." He replied quietly. "Relax, Kol. I'm just asking a question, no tricks up my sleeve."

Kol nodded once and left the room slowly, keeping his treacherous brother in his line of sight at all times, he half closed the door as he was exiting the room and stood, where Klaus could not see him and watched his hybrid brother.

He was not sure what he was waiting for, maybe for Niklaus to start talking about his evil master plan aloud to himself, for him to pull a white oak stake from him pocket, some kind of untrustworthy behaviour.

When he witnessed none after nearly half an hour he returned to his room in a state of confusion. What the hell was going on with Nik? Did he have some kind of evil genius scheme going on, or was he seriously expressing interest in Kol's wellbeing?

Klaus smiled to himself, it was not much progress, but at least it had not ended in bloodshed.

The second of his siblings to return was Finn, Finn did not bother speaking to him the way Kol had, he seemed content to walk past him and ignore his existence.

"Finn," The tall man paused and glanced at him coldly, "I erm… I'm…I." He flushed at his inability to form words.

"I wanted to-"

"Spit it out Niklaus, I do have other things I would like to be doing this evening." He stated impatiently.

"I'm sorry." He rushed the words and they merged together, but Finn heard him.

"For what?" He asked with little interest.

"For the obvious. I.. what I did was stupid, and …"

"Evil, selfish, paranoid, all together ass hole-like." Finn supplied, seemingly nonplussed by the situation.

"Yes."

Finn's eyes widened marginally, "is this a joke, Niklaus?"

"No." He insisted. "What I did was wrong. You're my brother, I should never have betrayed you the way I did."

Finn was lost for words, he was a quiet man, with not a lot to say for himself, but he hardly ever found himself unable to think of something to say when necessary.

He had trouble trusting his little brother, and for good reason, Klaus could be your best friend one second, and your worst enemy the next.

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I Know you will not believe me, but I promise that what I am telling you is the truth, I'm sorry. I took 900 years of your life from you, you missed out on so much, and if I could take it back I would."

Finn coughed uncomfortably as he contemplated Klaus' words, on the one hand he had no reason to trust in him, but on the other, they would all likely be dead by this time tomorrow, if Klaus was telling the truth and was really apologising then he wanted to at least forgive his brother before he died. He knew there would be time for that on the other side, but still, it felt important somehow.

He walked forward and clapped Klaus on the shoulder gently, he gave his brother a rare smile, "alright."

Klaus looked stunned, his mouth actually gaped a little, but he nodded at Finn, a moment passed between them and then Finn walked away.

Klaus waited in the chair for a while longer for Rebekah, after an hour he accepted the truth, that he was just using waiting for Rebekah as an excuse not to go upstairs and talk to his remaining brother, he knew Elijah would be the hardest to face because while he had loved them all, he thought that perhaps he had always loved Elijah a little more than his other brothers.

He steeled himself and headed for the stairs. The stairs were quite long, he reassured himself, by the time he reached Elijah's room he might have come up with something to say.

Upstairs Elijah stood facing out of the window, looking into the night.

He had arrived home before Niklaus, he had heard him sighing and groaning miserably to himself downstairs in the living room. He had been mildly curious, but not enough to ask him what was wrong.

Even if he had, it's not as though his brother would have told him, although he would have done once. Elijah tried not to dwell on this.

He had also listened as Klaus had a bizarre conversation with Kol. Such a conversation would not have been considered bizarre in any other family, but Klaus and Kol having a civil conversation was odd in itself, however Klaus asking Kol if he was alright was just… as young people these days might say _freaky_.

Even stranger had been Klaus' conversation with Finn. He had apologised for his actions and admitted that he was wrong.

Klaus may not have been Mikael's son biologically but he had just as much trouble as the older man when it came to accepting fault for anything.

He was torn. On the one hand he would like to believe that Klaus was sorry for all that he had done, that he genuinely wanted for things to go back to the way they used to be, for them all to be a family again. However he knew his little brother well, he had known him as a child, as a teenager, as a man and as a monster.

Klaus was no longer trustworthy, he would promise one thing and then twist his words and stab you in the back, or in the heart if he was going to be more literal.

He was unsure as to what strange emotions flooded though him at the moment he heard the quiet knocking on the door.

His uncertainty was not expressed in his voice as he casually called, "come in."

Klaus cursed silently, a cowardly part of him had hoped that Elijah would tell him to go away for whatever reason.

He opened the door and stood in the doorway in an unusual display of awkwardness.

Elijah seemed almost amused as he regarded him, " I said come in, not stand in the doorway letting the heat out."

Klaus stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind him almost noiselessly.

He was strongly tempted to leave abruptly as he realised that he did not know what to say, or where to begin. He had planned a gracious and humble speech on his way upstairs and now that he was face to face with his brother, took in his crisp suit, new haircut, polished shoes, his general tidy, neat appearance that was so familiar, he found that he did not remember a word of it.

"You wanted to speak to me." Elijah prompted.

"I'm presuming that you heard what I said to Finn."

"Perhaps I did." Elijah answered evasively.

"I… I know that you hate me. I hated you, for a long time. I resented you because I blamed you for Katerina escaping, I became suspicious of you because I knew that you would turn your back on me eventually."

"I would, would I? And may I ask Niklaus, how did you come across this information?" Elijah wondered calmly, with an underlying anger at his brother's assumptions.

"I decided that I knew you would. I was a bastard to you, I know that. I was …well there are so many different words I could use, none of them complimentary. I suppose that what I wanted to say was that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to mother, and for lying about it, I'm sorry I was willing to kill Katerina despite your love of her and I'm sorry that I took everybody you loved away from you." He did not hear the crack in his voice, or feel the tears that began to fall from his eyes.

"But not for the dagger you plunged into my heart, or for leaving me in a coffin for months?" Elijah raised one dark eyebrow.

"For that too." Klaus' gaze fell to the smooth, shiny wooden floor, he could not bring himself to look at his brother as he rejected him.

He snapped his head up in surprise as he heard a contained chuckle emanate from Elijah.

At his askance glance, Elijah explained. "_That too_? Really Niklaus? You deliver that heartfelt apology and follow up with, _that two_? Now I know why you do not offer apologies often, if you are this poor at them." He continued to laugh quietly.

"Yes, thank you Elijah." Klaus stated sarcastically and irritably, here he was putting himself out there and actually attempting to open up to his brother for the first time in years, and he was laughing at him!

"Don't be such a drama queen, Niklaus."

Klaus gaped at him, what the hell was going on?

"Don't be such a…? "He was building himself up to start a rant about how Elijah could at least let him know if he was taking him seriously or not, but one look at the smile on Elijah's face and he broke. He found himself laughing hysterically, the more he laughed, the more his brother laughed, and the more Elijah laughed, the more Klaus laughed.

Looking back on this moment the two brothers would find it ridiculous, two grown men, supposedly talking about a serious topic, laughing their asses off at nothing.

They did not know how long they spent like this, it could have been a few minutes, or it could have been an hour, but it did not really matter.

Klaus was the first to sober up, Elijah soon followed suit, and both became sombre again.

"Although a large part of me is insisting that I am about to make a very foolish mistake, I believe you, Niklaus. I forgive you for what you did to mother, I do not agree with what you did but, I do not think that you intended to do it. I also forgive you for lying to me about what happened, I think I can forgive you for what happened with Katerina also."

"But not the rest." Klaus stated sadly.

"I'm trying." Elijah replied with a small smile.

"Thank you, brother. It's… more than I deserve."

Klaus made to leave he room but halted suddenly and whirled back around to face him. "I wanted to tell you that…I …I've never said…I …You…." The words he was seeking refused to come.

"I know, you too." Elijah relieved his brother from his embarrassment. He knew what he was trying to say, and he did too, he always had, despite how much of a bastard Klaus could be.

_I am putting my trust in you, Niklaus. Do not let me down._

As Klaus returned to his bedroom that night, he stood by his window, looking down into his garden thoughtfully, standing in the same position he had found Elijah in.

Although he acknowledged that he still had a long way to go, he felt better about his relationship with his brothers than he had done in a long time, and it was all thanks to Caroline.

**As with **_**by the light of the moon**_** this was only supposed to be quite short, but just kept growing. Although this scenario will most likely not happen and I'm not sure about how in character Klaus, or any of the others are, I just felt the need to write it.**

**Please review.**


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